Gandhi once said that “an eye for an eye makes the world world blind.” 18-year old Brandt Jean applied this principle in his life when he made headlines for what he did in a Dallas courtroom in October of 2019.
After Amber Guyger was sentenced in the 2018 murder of Brandt’s brother Botham, he said that he forgave her and asked the judge if he could give her a hug.
When Brandt Jean took the witness stand, he spoke to Guyger, saying, “I know if you go to God and ask him, he will forgive you … I love you just like anyone else and I’m not going to hope you rot and die. I personally want the best for you. I wasn’t going to say this in front of my family, I don’t even want you to go to jail. I want the best for you because I know that’s exactly what Botham would want for you. Give your life to Christ. I think giving your life to Christ is the best thing Botham would want for you.”
Forgiving her didn’t mean that Brandt condoned what she did or was okay with losing his brother. It did mean that he wasn’t going to allow hurt and anger to control him.
We do not forgive so that the person who offended us can get away with what they did. But we forgive so we can get away from under the weight of what they did.
In a “Good Morning America interview shortly after the memorable courtroom scene, Brandt said, “This is what you have to do to set yourself free. I didn’t really plan on living the rest of my life hating this woman. I know that there’s something called peace of mind and that’s the type of stuff you need to do to have peace of mind. That is why I wake up happy in the morning. That is why I want to live happy later on in my life.”
C.S. Lewis once said, “To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.”
Jason Romano, host of the popular Sports Spectrum podcast and a former ESPN producer wrote the book Live to Forgive and he said, “Though a relationship might not ever be fully healed, you can be fully healed through your willingness to feel, evaluate, transform, and surrender the pain.”
We get to choose whether we are imprisoned and control by outside forces or whether we take control of our lives. Anger, hate, and resentment can shackle us and make our lives miserable.
Failing to forgive or letting anger fester within us is like drinking poison but expecting the other person to die. Brant Jean is not happy that his brother is dead but he also knows that by forgiving, he can live and help others to live, as well.