I hit the jackpot. My wife is all of those. However, I am also like most husbands in that I think I am always right.
She puts up with my delusions and still loves me.
She knows how to pick her battles and doesn’t protest every silly thing I say or decision I make. If she did, she’d constantly have a picket sign in her hand marching around the sidewalk in front of our house.
However, a few years ago, she memorably put her foot down and didn’t let me get away with making a silly decision. It was the best thing she could have done because the results of that decision have been life-altering.
Rewind back to when we were dating. She wanted kids. I said I wanted kids, but I really didn’t because I was way too focused on my career. I got my way for years.
Eventually we decide to look at adoption. I know people that are in the system for years and don’t get a child. I figure that maybe we’ll be in the system for years and get too old and at that point, it’ll be easy to convince my wife that it is not the right time.
Shortly after receiving final approval to be considered adoptive parents (this just means that you are eligible to be selected for a child, not that you will be getting a child), we got a call that a mother wanted us to adopt her child. Not only was this unusually quick for a newly approved couple, but the child was going to be born in just a few days.
I step up my game and put on the full-court press as to why this isn’t the right time. You name the reason and I probably used it. “We are starting to play conference games”. “We don’t know enough of the mother’s background”. “The room isn’t painted yet”. “We don’t have a crib”. “We haven’t discussed parenting strategies enough”
My wife was having none of this. Who was this lady? What alien was living inside of her and not letting her budge on my eloquently phrased persuasive arguments?
I finally ran out of time. I had “failed”. It was delivery day and there was no turning back.
Wow, what a messed up perspective! Looking back on it now, our son has been a blessing in more ways than I could ever have known. As educated as I might be or as successful as I’ve been in my career, this situation proved to me that I don’t know everything and that you should be careful what you wish for . . . especially when it is motivated by selfishness.
What are you fighting against in your own life? What selfish motives might be getting in the way of accomplishing great things? Who are you not listening to that might be speaking wisdom into your life?
Thank God that I didn’t get my way.
Thank you God, for bringing both Jaylen and Tabitha into my life!
Jamy Bechler is a former college basketball coach and championship high school athletic director. He is also a John Maxwell Certified Leadership Speaker and Coach. Contact him at CoachBechler@CoachBechler.com to find out how you or your team can be more successful.