Click here to listen to the 1-minute audio version of this article.
Nobel Peace Prize winner Bishop Desmond Tutu used to say, “Don’t raise your voice, rather just improve your argument.”
I love that thought.
We don’t need to be more overbearing, obnoxious, or louder. We just need a better argument.
But realize … that having a better argument so you can WIN the argument probably shouldn’t be the goal when we are having a conversation with somebody.
We shouldn’t want to win, convert, or even persuade someone else in every conversation.
In the book, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, one of Dr. Stephen Covey’s habits is to “seek first to understand, then to be understood”.
It’s not about getting your point across … or even bringing someone to your side. It’s about understanding.
The goal for a conversation (or even an argument) shouldn’t be winning, but rather understanding. The goal of a conversation (or, once again an argument) should be to move forward and progress, not to stay the same (or even go backward).
Today, resist the urge to raise your voice or be the squeaky wheel but instead improve your argument.
And once you improve your argument have conversations, not to win but to understand, move forward, and make things better.