Jamy Bechler

Providing Insights on Leadership and Success. Coach Bechler is a John Maxwell Leadership Team Member.

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Oct 29 2018

Who’s On First?

Poor Abbott. Poor Costello. In the classic sketch Who’s On First, they heard each other’s words but just couldn’t seem to understand what each other was saying.

It’s no secret that we all desire to be listened to and we all want to be understood.

I am right. You are wrong. Why should I listen to you? Wait, what?!? You don’t understand what I’m saying? How is that even possible?

In the book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey said, “If you’re like most people you probably seek first to be understood; you want to get your point across. And in doing so, you may ignore the other person completely, pretend that you’re listening, selectively hear only certain parts of the conversation, or attentively focus on only the words being said, but miss the meaning entirely. So why does this happen?”

Covey goes on to say, “because most people listen with the intent to reply, not to understand. You listen to yourself as you prepare in your mind what you are going to say, the questions you are going to ask, etc. You filter everything you hear through your life experiences, your frame of reference. You check what you hear against your autobiography and see how it measures up. And consequently, you decide prematurely what the other person means before he/she finishes communicating.”

Author and pastor Andy Stanley likes to say that “Leaders who don’t listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say.”

How about us? Do we first seek to understand what someone else is saying, where they are coming from, or even what the situation is?

We could all stand to do a little better at learning to listen and listening to learn.

Jamy Bechler is the author of The Leadership Playbook, host of the Success is a Choice Podcast, professional speaker, and trains organizations on creating championship cultures. Bechler spent 20 years as a college basketball coach and administrator. He has worked with businesses and teams, including the NBA. Follow him on twitter at @CoachBechler. To connect with him via email or find out about his services, please contact speaking@CoachBechler.com.

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Written by Jamy Bechler · Categorized: Leadership, Personal Growth · Tagged: 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Abbott and Costello, Andy Stanley, Communication, Learn to Listen, Listen to Learn, Listening, Perspective, Stephen Covey, Understanding

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