“The ability to deal with people is as purchasable a commodity as sugar or coffee and I will pay more for that ability than for any other under the sun.” (John D. Rockefeller)
My brother and I can chat for 30 minutes on the phone and when I hang up, I can’t answer any questions from my wife about my brother’s family or what’s really going on in his life. But, boy can I tell you his opinion on Michigan football or the Detroit Tigers.
When I first read John Maxwell’s book “Everyone Communicates; Few Connect”, it was a jolt of lightning in my thinking. How many of us send memos, emails, texts, Facebook messages and tweets but don’t really go beyond the surface?
As coaches, salespeople, teachers or executives, how often do we talk or make our pitch but don’t listen or really understand what others want? Stephen Covey, the author of the book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People said “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand but rather most people listen with the intent to reply.”
I think maybe God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason.
We are constantly communicating but are we really connecting? Are we really developing a true relationship with others?
Connecting is all about others. Before you can add value to others, you must first learn to value others. Connecting only happens intentionally
Some of the greatest military leaders in history understood how important the Law of Connection as evidenced by Napoleon and Robert E. Lee. Napoleon was reputed to have made it a habit to know the names of his officers and details about their lives like where they lived, who their family was and what battles they had previously fought in. Robert E. Lee often visited with his soldiers the night before going into battle.
These two great military minds understood how to interact with their people.
During interactions, people want to know if you care for them, can you help them and can they trust you. If this describes you then you are well on your way to connecting with others.
Ask questions. Be interested in the other person and what they have got to say. Understand their point of view. If we want to truly be people of influence, then we must learn to make connections with others.